Internet stalker profile (and any stalker, especially a male)

If you've been wooed by a cyberstalker, this profile will bring you back to reality:

• lives in a 1-room apartment which hasn't been cleaned for months - if ever
• has stacks of pornographic magazines in his bedroom area
• has poor personal hygiene
• has poor table manners
• has poor social etiquette
• hasn't changed the sheets on his bed for months, which are now best described as crusty
• has a bathroom, the state of which doesn't bear thinking about
• lives on pizza and beer/coke, the remnants of which litter his apartment
• may have an unusual pet (eg ferret) which has free run of the apartment
• is either significantly over- or under-weight
• has a small moustache or other facial hair
• has not held down any job for more than a couple of years, probably less
• has no friends
• has no life outside the Internet

The Internet stalker probably has other unpleasant characteristics that sexual harassers possess, and the usual sexual inadequacy including lack of intimacy, controlling behaviour, no concept of the partner's needs, premature ejaculation, and an abnormal belief bordering on obsession in his smallness.

Warning signs

These are the signs to be alert to:

• expects you to spend all of your time with him/her or inform him/her of your whereabouts
• refuses to accept "no" for an answer
• isolates you from your friends and/or family
• puts you down in front of your family or friends
• sends frequent unsolicited or unwelcome gifts
• makes offers of unsolicited help
• excessive niceness in the early stages
• use of guilt to manipulate your feelings or to force you into courses of action you feel unhappy with
• extreme jealousy
• frequent loss of temper
• abuse of alcohol and/or drugs
• following you wherever you go
• threats
• physical or verbal abuse
• damage or destruction to your property
• talks about violence or is fascinated with themes of violence
• makes your family or friends feel scared or uneasy